Ashlee is excited about her vibrator but its power overwhelms her. She needs someone to show her use it. The man behind the camera eagerly agrees to help her out.
“I like to be fucked from behind like that,” she says on all fours. “Nice and deep and slow. Fast and hard.”
Japanese hospitals have a different idea of bed side manner. The Doctors nurse the patients back to health by fucking them. They even make house calls!
The nurses get in on the action too. A sick man gets a 69 in his hospital bed.
“You know what you have to do,” the sexy nurse orders him. “No breaks. Keep licking.”
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Tory Lane is pissed off, even more than usual. Bonnie Rotten tries to take over her band so Tory teaches her who’s the alpha bitch.
“You can’t be a princess without a queen,” Tory tells the tattooed badass.
The sex queen plays her like a drum, literally. Tory beats her pussy with a pair of drumsticks until she squirts.
“Fuck your way to the top,” she says. “That’s how I did.”
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Ted is like Teddy Ruxpin but with a dirty mouth. The always controversial Seth MacFarlane voices the talking teddy bear, which comes to life after a magical wish by John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg). They become inseparable until John meets Lori (Mila Kunis). His new girlfriend insists that he grow up and stop playing with toys. After they lose the third wheel, the couple engages in some very adult situations.
“I’m gonna start doing a lot of adult things like getting more fiber,” John promises her in a deleted scene.
Lori screams in ecstasy as he rattles off more whitebread things like watching C-SPAN, reading cartoons in The New Yorker and wearing a blazer on airplanes.
Women might not mind the Boston accent, particularly when it’s coming out of Mark Wahlberg’s mouth but it’s not as sexy from a woman. Ted and John debate it while getting high on the couch.
“Boston women on the whole are a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life,” Ted explains.
He proves his point by doing an impression of a stereotypical Boston girl orgasm, which ends with the loud mouth stuffing her face with Pepperidge Farm.
That doesn’t stop the hypocrite from hooking up with his white trash coworker Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). He satisfies her hunger with a different kind of food. Ted reveals to his boss that he fucked her with a parsnip from the grocery store then sold it. In the backroom we see the teddy bear stuffing Tami-Lynn, who has her panties down around her ankles. He’s presumably using more vegetables or fruit as a strap-on dildo. The toy’s lack of genitalia doesn’t stop him from enjoying some anal sex.
“Stick your finger in the loop of my tag,” he tells her.
Barth will reprise her role in the sequel Ted 2 coming out June 26, 2015. Hopefully if we see any more produce, it’ll be melons.
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This Southern gal is more than a little bit wild and just as crazy. Bossy Ryder strips like Mr. Rogers, she describes each part as you would to a child which is perfect for fetishists but everyone can appreciate when she gets serious.
“Have you ever had your tongue swallowed by a cunt,” she asks. “Have you ever been afraid you might get lost inside of a woman? Have you ever been afraid she’s gonna open so wide, your whole body will go through her? Have you ever felt the tremor of her body move you? Life is good. Life can be better if you like gals who know how to …”
Premium Pass has some of the naughtiest girls but Santa has something special for them this Christmas: sex toys!
But these bad girls just can’t wait to open their presents. Alexis Texas, Audrey Bitoni, Eva Angelina, Lexi Belle and Tori Black unwrap themselves in anticipation.
“What would be the first thing you did if I came down your chimney to wish you a merry Christmas,” Tori asks while slowly stripping. “Would you whip out your nice big present for me? You know that’s all I want for Christmas, nice big presents.”
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Lauren asks Sapphire Blue if she’s going to a good girl or a bad girl.
Sapphire says, “I’m gonna be a bad girl first …”
Amber Nevada gets punished by her deceptively sweet dormitory housemistress, Amarna Miller. This tiny girl with over-sized glasses sounds just like you’d think she would but with a sexy European accent! But her appearance belies her demeanor. She spanks and spits on Amber, who is tied up and unable to escape.
Tessa Lane thinks her neighbor RayVeness is lesbian so she breaks into her house to find proof but gets caught in the act.
“You not gonna get me in trouble,” she asks.
“Well I really don’t have a choice because you need to learn a lesson,” RayVeness replies.
Needless to say Tessa gets her proof.
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Madelyn Monroe doesn’t have time to take off her jeans because she wants to get fucked like a “dirty little whore.”
“Fuck me like a little whore,” Tessa Lane yells. “Fuck me like whore.”
Given that she’s getting fucked in a kiddie pool that shouldn’t be a problem.
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Mistress Brandy Smile trains Kerry (Jenna Daniels) with some tough love including choking her new pet.
“I could destroy you with my hands,” she says in a sexy Russian accent reminiscent of Rocky IV. “You feel my strength?”
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Cam model Kandi Kay dresses up as a French Maid. In a sexy English accent she says, “I want to come over and clean up that dirty mess you boys have left for me.” Judging by the way she sucks her finger, she’s probably not talking about the dishes.
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Ashli Orion, Serena Ali, Staci Jaxxx, Brittney Banxxx and Cindy Starfall destroy their holes with an assortment of vibrators and dildos.
“You like watching me jam big fucking toy in my cunt?” asks Ashli. “I was so tight before.”
Cindy points out her dildo is bigger than parts of her tiny Asian body but that doesn’t stop her from squeezing them in. What she really wants though is cock so she imagines riding you!
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