Oiled Up – Review

Angelina Valentine and Maxine X are just two typical large breasted office workers who watch porn on their lunch break. While watching Oil and Ass they fantasize about starring in their own movie… fade to black dick, specifically LT’s black dick, which is featured in all but one scene.

But before they take some cock, the girls play with each other. Maxine pulls down Angelina’s shorts to reveal a pink butt plug, which unfortunately goes largely unnoticed. It stays in as the girls grind against each other and when it does come out it’s completely underwhelming. Maxine simply pulls it out and tosses it aside, she doesn’t even bother to clean it off. LT, on the other hand, has no problem eating ass. After Lt uses his personal butt plug on Angelina, he buries his face in her ass but it’s only the first of many asses.

SLIP UPS

There are many mistakes that take you out of the moment. At the end of one scene LT explains that while oil may look great, it tastes horrible. That’s not something I want to know when I’m imagining that I’m sucking on those tits, save that information for the DVD extras not the middle of the movie. Haley Cummings also complains (multiple times) that the oil is cold. Hearing girls whine is not a big turn on, besides how cold can it be? Make like a porn star and suck it up.

Even people behind the camera chime in on their displeasure. In the middle of Angelina’s and Maxine’s scene the director interrupts the action because she can’t see their faces!? Lady, we ain’t watching for oily faces. And for some bizarre reason the crew decided to protect the furniture with plastic in the last two scenes. It not only looks bad, it makes a distracting crinkling sound. The only thing more jarring is the “music.” It’s the standard bass filled loop but it sounds like coming out of blown speakers. And it’s not just during the credits, but also during several of the opening scenes. Thankfully, it’s quiet during the actual fucking, maybe a little too quite.

There’s not a lot of dirty talk, with the exception of Misty Stone but she’s all you really need. She isn’t afraid to tell you exactly what she wants. Misty slides off LT’s dick to let Rihanna Rimes taste her pussy then tells her “I want you to put this fucking dick back inside of me. Spit on it. Fucking spit on it. Get nasty. Get fucking nasty, bitch.” Rihanna is the polar opposite. She doesn’t say a word, that is until LT starts fucking her doggy style and she starts yelling “Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck Me.” What really sticks out about this scene are their butts. During the opening Misty and Rihanna rub their asses together. As the camera looks down on their glistening black cheeks, you can’t help but imagine being in the middle of this ass sandwich. It’s so fucking hot you won’t even notice that bad music is back.

Haley Cumming is another girl who doesn’t open up until she’s getting pounded. It’s unfortunate because she has such a sexy voice but most of the time she just giggles. It’s the same practiced giggle every time (read: fake and annoying). What’s not fake are Haley’s beautiful breasts that look even hotter because of that aforementioned cold oil, particularly when she’s on her back and they slide all over her body.